Read on: Website

Abundant Mind #014

Consider following me on Threads, Instagram, and Facebook

Read Time: 8 minutes

Hey bud,

Have you ever felt insecure or self-doubt in your life?

When you’re suddenly in your head thinking about all the things that could go wrong.

You think: “What would they say?” “What would they think about me?”

And “they” can be different groups of people.

Family.

Friends.

Peers.

You feel out of place, like you don’t belong in that situation.

These are the exact kinds of experiences I had a lot in my teenage years.

If you’re like me, then you’ve probably encountered these feelings more than once.

Maybe you even come across these feelings now in different areas in your life.

One way I’ve found to lessen these unwanted feelings over time is by developing my self-confidence.

In this week’s newsletter, I’d like to share with you some perspectives on self-confidence that I have used, or I am working on implementing in my life right now.

These perspectives are from people that I admire in the online self-improvement space and I consider them as my online teachers.

Let’s get straight into it.

Alex Hormozi: “Don’t build confidence. Build evidence”

Alex Hormozi says that confidence comes as a result of evidence. Not the other way around.

In my experience, I’ve found truth in this.

According to Oxford Languages, confidence is “a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment.”

Now, the only way we can trust our own abilities, qualities, and judgment, is if we have some form of evidence to rely on.

Trust after all is built over time.

Evidence, in my view, can be in the form of 1 of 2 things:

1. Actions

2. Results

But not just any actions and/or results. Actions and results that reflect a positive practice of our abilities, qualities, or judgment.

I talked about this in one of my instagram reels that you can watch here.

If you want to build self-confidence using this perspective: collect evidence so that you can refer to them to reinforce your trust in yourself.

You can find more on Alex Hormozi’s Instagram page.

Ed Mylett: “Confidence is all about keeping the promises you made to you.”

This builds on the perspective shared by Alex Hormozi on gathering evidence.

At the end of the day, if you keep the promises that you made to you, then you can say with full conviction that you trust yourself.

My mentor, Russ Juson, describes this as building the quality of integrity.

I learned from him that integrity is all about keeping your word to yourself and to other people.

Personally, I see the quality of integrity as the ultimate success character trait.

Every time you break a promise you made to yourself, you erode your trust in yourself, and as a result, you lower your self-confidence.

This is personally what I’m working on right now. I find it to be one of the hardest things to do to keep my promises to myself.

But I know that if I can keep my promises to myself and build my trust in myself, I become a trustworthy person that people can rely on.

Trust after all is the currency of business and relationships.

That’s my journey right now.

If you want to build self-confidence using this perspective: Put care in the promises you make to yourself. Do what you said you will do.

You can find more on Ed Mylett’s Instagram page.

James Clear on 2 Versions of Confidence

My take on this idea is distinguishing overconfidence with true self-confidence.

Overconfidence is just arrogance at the end of the day. And I feel that those that are overconfident or arrogant are simply overcompensating for their insecurities.

In one of the first self-development books I read on dating and relationships, the author mentioned a term called Polar Opposing Insecurity Compensation (POIC).

It’s basically insecurity disguised as confidence. It happens when there is a behavior that a person is insecure about (like shyness), they go in the complete opposite extreme and become loud and obnoxious to show to others that they aren’t shy.

This is not to say that all people who speak loudly are actually shy deep down, but you can kind of tell when someone is trying to overcompensate for something based on their energy.

True self-confidence on the other hand is humble and open-minded as mentioned by James Clear.

People who have true self-confidence have a level of certainty and self-assurance about them. Again, it goes back to because they trust themselves.

If you want to build self-confidence using this perspective: become aware if you are falling victim to POIC. Stay humble and be open to ideas that will help you improve.

You can find more on James Clear’s Instagram page.

Dan Koe: “Self-Confidence comes from doing what you think is uncomfortable, over and over again, and realizing it wasn’t that bad in the first place.”

This idea resonated with me a lot when I came across it.

Most people prefer to avoid discomfort.

With technology now, the majority of the world is becoming more and more comfortable with the many conveniences that modern life has.

Want to talk to a friend? You can instantly get a hold of them nowadays through messaging apps and social media.

Hungry? You can order food with the click of a button.

Tired of being stuck in traffic everyday? There are now options to work from home.

Now, not everyone has these privileges, but if you’re reading this newsletter chances are, you probably have them. I know I do.

The key point here being — with the advancement of technology — we are slowly getting accustomed to a more comfortable and convenient life.

Which is great in the grand scheme of things, however from the perspective of building self-confidence, it doesn’t really help.

Building self-confidence demands of us to take steps outside our comfort zones.

Do that enough times over time though and you eventually get used to it and you GROW your comfort zone.

And then as Dan Koe mentions, you realize it wasn’t that bad in the first place. In fact, it becomes worth it.

If you want to build self-confidence using this perspective: Try doing one small thing that makes you uncomfortable each day. Even better if that one thing each day is in line with the goals you have for your life.

You can find more on Dan Koe’s Instagram page.

Conclusion

My personal perspective on self-confidence is that developing it is a form of self-love and self-respect.

I want to love myself enough to want to collect evidence and improve my life.

I want to respect myself enough to keep my promises to myself.

I think self-confidence is merely a side effect of developing 3 things: self-love, self-respect, and self-assurance.

If you focus on developing those 3 things on a regular basis, you’ll develop self-confidence.

If you want to see my daily posts on self-confidence, self-improvement, and personal growth, you can see more of these on my Instagram page.

Insecurity and self-doubt are 2 things that cripple people from:

1. Setting goals that is outside their comfort zone (which is a significant way to reach a fulfilled life)

2. Taking action and moving forward

3. Trying new things that may lead to those people experiencing a rewarding life.

Your only way to overcome these emotions is to develop your self-confidence over time.

I’ll leave you with this quote:

Believe in yourself, because I believe in you.

Do that often enough, and a fulfilling life awaits you.

And always remember, that you deserve that. 

Talk soon,

Zach

P.S. Whenever you are ready, there are 2 ways that I can be of help to you:

1. Follow me on Instagram here if you want a source of bite-sized ideas and content that can help you reflect on your situation and help you reach your next level.

2. Book a discovery call for one-on-one coaching here if you are currently looking to create solutions to a problem or challenge in your life but you seem to be stuck.