- The Aligned Work Newsletter
- Posts
- Why you haven't moved on (Reason #3)
Why you haven't moved on (Reason #3)
Part 3/3
Over the past two days, I’ve shared two big reasons why you haven’t fully moved on:
Unexpressed thoughts and emotions
Unanswered questions
Today, I want to share the third reason why you haven’t moved on.
And for this one, I’ll tell you a personal story:
Before I met my wife, Bea, I was hung up on one of my exes.
Not just for a few weeks.
For months.
I kept replaying the relationship in my head, wondering why I couldn’t move forward.
And the truth was that I wasn’t just missing her…
I was missing a part of myself I had abandoned in the relationship.
You see, back then, I had this unhealthy pattern of abandoning myself for my romantic partner.
I’d put their needs above my own
I’d rely on them for my sense of worth
I’d make decisions based on what would make them happy, not what was best for both them AND me
And when the relationship ended, I felt lost.
Because when you make someone else the source of your happiness and validation…
You don’t just lose them when the relationship ends.
You lose yourself as well.
That’s why I struggled to move on.
Because the lesson that I needed to learn was all about self-love.
Learning how to validate myself instead of waiting for it from someone else.
Learning how to choose me instead of abandoning myself for “love.”
And once I truly learned that lesson?
Everything shifted.
I stopped clinging to the past.
I stopped feeling like I needed someone to complete me.
I stopped attracting relationships where I’d lose myself again.
And because I learned that lesson, I became the kind of person my wife wanted to marry.
The type of person that is secure and that she can depend on.
And so the third reason why you have’t moved on is this:
You have lessons to learn from the breakup that you haven’t learned yet
You see, every relationship teaches you something.
And until you fully learn that lesson, you’ll keep repeating the same patterns.
Maybe your lesson is:
Learning how to set boundaries so you don’t abandon yourself.
Learning how to trust again instead of carrying your ex’s mistakes into new relationships.
Learning how to validate yourself instead of looking for love to fill a void.
But if you don’t learn it?
You’ll either stay stuck in the past or repeat the same dynamic in your next relationship.
That’s why truly moving on is about integrating the lessons you need to learn so you don’t have to keep reliving that same pain.
And that’s exactly what I’ll help you do in The Closure Kit Workshop which is happening in a couple of days.
In this workshop, I'll show you how to free yourself from heartbreak using Emotional Tools that take less than 20 minutes to integrate.
Click below to see details of how to join:
(Heads up, this link expires in 2 days)
Aligned Work. Effortless Success.
Zach
Reply