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Hey bud,

Have you ever felt angry because you wanted to make progress towards something, but it felt like it was taking too long?

Or not even that it was taking too long, but that you kept taking 2 steps forward and then would suddenly take 1 step backward?

Did you ever feel like it was pointless to keep going because of it?

The reason for this experience is because there are certain things about yourself or your situation that you have not accepted.

People who experience this are either in denial, or still living in the past (rather than in the present moment).

That’s like driving towards a destination while looking in the rear view mirror for most of the trip. It doesn’t matter how powerful your car is, you will never get to your destination efficiently that way.

If you’re looking for a way to progress towards your goals faster and continue to make consistent improvements, then you need to practice self-acceptance.

By practicing self-acceptance you are able to:

• Re-evaluate and set realistic short-term goals based on where you are now

• Overcome limiting beliefs and negative self-talk

• Cultivate resilience and the ability to bounce back

• Develop a healthier relationship with yourself and others

• Access inner peace and fulfillment while journeying towards your goals

In this week’s letter, we won’t just be talking about self-acceptance, but RADICAL self-acceptance.

This is what you need to learn to master for you to change your life and be set free — set free from suffering, worry, stress, and disappointment WHILE on the journey to your goals.

So, let’s get into it.

Self-Acceptance and Radical Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is the practice of fully embracing and accepting yourself.

It empowers you to acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses without judgement.

This involves acknowledging aspects of who you are — without the need for any external validation.

By doing this, you cultivate a positive mindset that fosters growth and resilience.

When we accept ourselves as we are, we are more likely to set realistic short-term goals, as we understand our limitations and capabilities.

(Notice how I mention short-term goals and not goals in general — people are likely to overestimate what they can accomplish in the short-term but UNDERestimate what they can accomplish in the long-term)

Now, what about radical self-acceptance?

Radical self-acceptance takes it a step further. It involves fully embracing and loving yourself — including imperfections, quirks, and vulnerabilities.

This is something that is hard to master, but once you do you will have the ability to release any unnecessary suffering in your life.

Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs

Most of our unnecessary suffering stems from our expectations — specifically, when our expectations of ourselves (or others) do not match reality.

Let’s focus on the unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves.

Understand that these unrealistic expectations of yourself may have come from others at first (parents, teachers, friends, partners), but eventually it has become your own voice.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are positives to having expectations. It is helpful to set goals and expect to make progress, because then you are more likely to achieve them.

This message is for the people who set expectations of themselves too high, to the point that it becomes unrealistic.

That if they don’t achieve their goals at the time they wanted to, they put themselves down, they get frustrated, disappointed, mad, or sad with themselves.

Does this resonate with you?

When you continue to replay those unrealistic expectations in your mind (whether consciously or unconsciously) they eventually form into self-limiting beliefs.

And as I mentioned in one of my previous letters, there are two ways that beliefs are formed:

1. A specific event with enough emotional impact behind it.

2. Enough repetition of thoughts or experiences.

(You can read letter #021 Belief Systems — From Limited to Empowered here).

If you notice yourself being hard on yourself for not being something other than who you are right now, you need to learn radical acceptance.

Learning this can help you overcome these self-limiting beliefs.

By accepting yourself as you are, flaws and all, you challenge these limiting beliefs and replace them with self-compassion and confidence.

By accepting yourself as you are, you replace negative with positive self-talk, until that positive voice becomes the only voice you are able to hear.

By accepting yourself as you are, you will bounce back faster from setbacks and you develop resilience.

Developing Radical Self-Acceptance

To develop radical self-acceptance, you need to intentionally practice it.

How?

Here are 3 ways to do that:

1. Journal Your Thoughts

Your thoughts lead your life.

You need to develop awareness and become conscious of the thoughts that you have on a regular basis.

Create a practice of noticing when you have expectations in life — and then write it down.

Ask yourself:

“Where did this expectation come from?”
“Why did I believe this in the first place?”
“Is this really true about me?”
“Is this necessary for me to have?”
“Is this bringing me chaos or fulfillment?”

You need to question these expectations when they come up. It’s the only way for you to disassociate with them.

That will lead to you developing radical self-acceptance.

2. Positive Self-Talk

We are always talking to ourselves in our mind, whether we are conscious of it or not.

Most of the time, people default to negative self-talk unknowingly since we have an evolutionary bias towards it (focusing on what could go wrong helped us survive during our caveman days).

In today’s society, we don’t have the same life threatening dangers that we once had thousands of years ago.

And so, you need to start becoming conscious of what you say to yourself.

Develop positive self-talk by encouraging yourself and being your own cheerleader and supporter.

(You can read more about this idea in letter #018 Solving Imposter Syndrome).

3. Practice Self-Acceptance in ALL Circumstances

It’s easy to accept yourself when things are going well for you.

When you are happy.

When you are in a state of peace.

When you are enthusiastic.

Bur radical self-acceptance is all about accepting things when they aren’t going well for you.

When you are facing setbacks.

When you are dealing with loss or grief.

When you are facing crisis.

In other words, simply NOT denying or resisting whatever is going on when things aren’t going well for you.

What you resist persists.

For example, when you resist and deny that you ARE in a stressful situation, you get stressed for being stressed. It just doesn’t help.

You see, when you get into the mode of acceptance, you allow yourself to evolve and improve.

When you are in resistance mode, you just keep yourself stuck.

So, as a practice, when things aren’t going your way, that is the PERFECT time to exercise radical self-acceptance.

Try this out for yourself, and see how you’re able to evolve and improve into a better and better human being.

In Conclusion

By developing radical self-acceptance you are able to develop a healthier relationship with yourself.

Instead of being at war with yourself when things don’t go the way you expect them to — you instead become your own supporter, cheerleader, and coach.

Think about it, when you are at war with yourself while you are journeying towards your goals, it’s as if you are driving with your parking break engaged — it’s inefficient, and you waste energy.

By having a healthier relationship with yourself, you have access to inner peace and fulfillment while you journey towards your goals.

By having a healthier relationship with yourself, you also develop a healthier relationship with other people (we unconsciously treat and see people the same way we see and treat ourselves).

That’s a rabbit hole for another time.

Now, here’s something I personally tell myself when I feel things aren’t the way they should be based on my expectations:

“I am exactly where I need to be right now.”
“I love and accept myself as I am.”
“This setback is happening because I am like an arrow, being pulled back right before being launched — I just have to keep aiming”

Try out these points of self-talk and notice how you feel when you use them to fully embrace who you are, and where you are right now in your life.

You are exactly where you need to be right now — and what is, is perfect.

All the love,
All the power,

— Zach Marañon

P.S. Whenever you are ready, there are 3 ways that I can be of help to you:

1. Follow me on Instagram here if you want a source of bite-sized ideas and content that can help you reach your next level in life.

2. Book a free kick-off conversation for one-on-one coaching here if you are an entrepreneur or sales professional currently looking to create solutions to a problem or challenge in your life but you seem to be stuck.

3. Download my goal setting guide here if you are wanting to create clarity on your desired outcomes (Free until 100 downloads — and then I convert it to a paid resource).

P.P.S. If you are from the Philippines and are looking for a personal mastery workshop to help you experience growth and transformation, check out Discovery by I Am Plus Coaching and Training Systems. It’s where my journey of self evolution personally got fast-tracked.